Not Okay with Okay

Wondering in the quiet of a Sunday night. Is it possible to MAKE yourself care about people?

Can I clench my fists, conjure up all the self-motivation within me, and will myself to care? Can’t I just make myself be passionate about something? Decide the dreams that I want to dream? Make myself be drawn to the people I want to be drawn to?

i want to care, i want to love, i want to dream, i want to be pulled towards certain things. But as much as I want, some things just do not align with the person I was designed to be. You cannot conjure up passion, roll up your sleeves and dive knee deep into a world of something you’d LIKE to love but don’t REALLY have a heart for.

Because those things are already within you. Our dreams & passions & admirations for other people, they are embedded deep in the molecules that make up our hearts. Naturally each one of us are drawn to different things, inclined to pursue different types of people and pursue different things.

We must pursue without shame all those things that stir up our heart quietly. Without fear of what other people think. Without believing the lie that what we are passionate about, is less important than what another person in passionate about. Absolutely confident & steadfast in the passions & dreams God has given you. We were all designed to love different things- we were made to pursue different things.

I was struck by these words:
“They remind me of the moments when it is clear- if I have eyes to see- that the life I am living is not the same as the life that wants to live in me.”

We don’t always see it- too often we are blind, stuck in the comfort of being okay with where we are and the life we live. Comfort is a wonderful thing but it can also be very dangerous. Being too comfortable, we can get stuck. Okay with half-hearted relationships, okay with a decent job, okay with our overweight body. There is nothing worse than the word okay. Okay is just okay. It’s not good, it’s not bad. It’s lukewarm- the worst way to be.

It is on par with:
Tell me, what is she like?
Oh she’s nice.
Nice? That could mean anywhere from incredible to mean to horrid. The word offers absolutely nothing about a person.
Oh she’s really really nice.
Oh so she’s not just nice, she’s really really nice? oh cool.
Actually, that changes nothing. It still remains that you have given someone the most empty compliment out there.

My goal in life to never be described as nice. Call me aggressive, bubbly, crazy, weird, just anything but nice.

The word okay is exactly the same.

My second goal in life is never live a life that is okay. Hard, painful, adventurous, crazy- anything but okay.

Because there are times where I see it. When there is a flicker of realization and we recognize that who we are falls very short of the potential of what we could be, and who we actually do want to be. When our eyes see. When we see that the person we are is far from the person we want to be. These are the moments of clarity- when we see and desire to be more.

There’s got to be something within you that cries out: i’m tired of being okay. i’m tired of settling for alright. i’m tired of just being enough.

I want my life and my character to explode past the words okay and nice.

It breaks my heart when my friend looks at me from the across the table, both hands clutching around the coffee cup, and says, “I’m just trying to get through the week.” When we approach life as something have to just survive….we are miss the whole point. WE WERE NOT MADE TO SURVIVE THIS LIFE BUT TO LIVE THIS LIFE.

There is a enormous, dynamic, life-altering difference between surviving & living. Between just getting by & carpe diem. Between living until it is the end & living like tomorrow could be the end.

It breaks my heart.
Because, listen. You, child of the creator of the universe—

We. You. Me. Us. were made for dancing. were made for gigantic, whale-sized dreams. were made for beauty you know not of. were made for wonderful. were made for incredible. were made to change the world. Every single one of you.

Don’t sell yourself short. Live loud & bursting with colour & exploding past just surviving and okay. Do things that scare you. Be bold. Be brave. Take risks. Dance for Jesus- because your saviour put a song in your soul and a bounce in your feet. You were made for something so indescribably and incomprehensibly wonderful that a word doesn’t even exist for it, because really, who could sum beauty & world-changing & incredible & phenomenon in just one single word? Bam. Today’s your day, you own this day- lets go change the word.

love, mikayla

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2 thoughts on “Not Okay with Okay

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